I've decided to take a different approach to today's blog. I figured since I don't have any followers, and very few people even know that I'm blogging, this would be the perfect time to reflect on me. So it's me time.
I wonder how many people actually feel the way I do but don't say it because we're humble?
By nature teachers care about others. Well I care deeply, about lots of others, and I'm always trying to make peace: among my staff, with administrators, and even among people district wide. I realize it's not for nothing since I'm helping others feel good about themselves and each other. In my position, I talk with teachers of all grade levels so I can squash a lot of speculation. But at the end of the day I'm emotionally exhausted. I'm exhausted from all the squashing and caring and trying to save people's feelings because I care. And I wonder, do other people talk as nicely about me behind my back as I talk about them? I am always giving a compliment, some form of praise, to help people feel good about themselves and to motivate them to continue doing good work. I rarely hear those forms of praise back. I have to wonder, is it because the praise isn't there to give? Have I not done something I should have to earn the prasie? I thrive on feedback to propel me forward; both positive and negative feedback. As my blog title suggest, I work hard, giving all that I can, and I love it. But is it too much to ask after creating, implementing and providing feedback to teachers on a lesson, that for once they provide feedback to me? I know it's not humble to ask for recognition. That's why I hope this particular post gets buried.
Now that I've gotten all that out of the way I feel better. I always teach my students that writing is a great expression of our emotions and it's got a way of healing us. Now as I reflect on my reflection it sounds like I'm feeling sorry for myself. I assure you, I'm not one to feel sorry for myself. :-)
I don't think you're feeling sorry for yourself at all. No, I think you are a teacher who has given and given and given and is just now stopping to reflect a bit. It's not an easy job. Draining to be sure. But, then, caring is a draining job. Giving of yourself. No, you're not alone. Know that every other teacher who pours him/herself into others feels it. And together we feel the joy that comes from caring. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like I could have written this post, but you are much braver than I! Thank you for your words. Please continue staying positive!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like a difficult job and there are many to please. We all need a little "me time" and time to reflect. That's the nice thing about writing, we can revisit our thoughts and see where we want to adjust them.
ReplyDeleteIt was nice to wake up this morning and see these replies! I was feeling a bit badly about posting this. We all seem to be in the same boat having the same feelings, but at the end of the day, we know those who need us most are getting the best parts of us. And somehow, we still have more to give when we get home to our families. I am so glad that I am taking the time to be a part of this writing community! It's great to associate (even in blog world) with people who can relate to eachother! :-)
ReplyDelete